Gallery



Host and compere Jonathan Mayor struggles to hear the audience tell him how gorgeous he is.	Carl, designated love puppy for the evening, turns out to be a dubious choice and runs away from the spotlight. Quite possibly for fear of being caught violating his ASBO.


Carl’s mates were more interested in talking to each other and answering their phones. I was left with no choice but to destroy them with my heat vision.	Bethany steps up, delivers a fine ten minute spot and manages a spot of flirtatious banter with a fine young lady in the audience. Bonus.


Tim Craven is the first Beat The Frog contestant and delivers a fine high energy set with a few darker lines that drew massive “ooohs” from the masses. Beat The Frog.	Rhiannon was caught somewhat off guard and had to sprint onstage. Noticeably shaken, she never quite hit her stride. Croakerama.


Mmm, shiny. Lee Fenwick in his guise as The White Chris Rock unveils a brand new routine. Splits the crowd at first but proceeds to utterly, utterly tear the place apart. Awe inspiring. Beat The Frog. 8. Simon Williams was on thin ice to begin with when he called back to one of Bethany’s gags but managed to redeem himself. Especially when he mentioned Argos and a table of Argos employees cheered. Have the decency to be at least slightly ashamed you bunch of catalogue-monkeys. Beat The Frog.	Simon Williams was on thin ice to begin with when he called back to one of Bethany’s gags but managed to redeem himself. Especially when he mentioned Argos and a table of Argos employees cheered. Have the decency to be at least slightly ashamed you bunch of catalogue-monkeys. Beat The Frog.


Team Canada’s Petey Williams aka Mac Star makes his Beat The Frog debut. The mic fell apart in his swarthy Tazmanian grasp but he didn’t let this phase him and went on to Beat The Frog in fine style. We’ll be seeing more of this gentleman I’m sure.




Andy Watson sporting a new look inspired by the motion picture G.I. Jane. Starts off fine but loses them half way in and is the night’s second victim for The Croakster.	ANDY KIND – Another B.T.F. debutante in Stoke On Trent’s Andy Kind. Showed a lot of promise and dealt with a gobby lass at the back determined to ruin his set. Looked dead chuffed when he lasted the five and deservedly so.


MIKE SANDS – The aforementioned gobby lass failed to realise that she needed to stop making noises with her face, even after Jonathan had gotten everybody to roar “Shut the f**k up!” at her. She then went on the heckle Mike Sands with the cutting and witty “You’re gay!” line. He then produced this sign and the place went mental. Brilliant stuff. Beat the Frog.	Gobby lass raises the ire of the audience to the point that cardmaster Dug decides to card HER off with the subtle charm that only a cockney can produce. “Fk off you mouthy ct!” Apples and pears.


Eight acts, six survivors but only one winner. None other than The White Chris Rock. In victory T.W.C.R. delivers a speech about how much he loves “sticking it to The Man” that leaves Jonathan weak at the knees. Saucy.	Bethany’s utility hat, everything you need for a night at Beat The Frog.